It’s hard looking back at the things used to be, that could’ve been, could’ve had. Sometimes you wish you could personally climb up the Great Clocktower of Time, grip the hands of the clock and yank it backwards. Go back to when things started to go sour so you could change the outcome. Sometimes you wish you could turn back time to forget the bad, and only remember the good. You want to go home, but you can’t.
You wish you could hold on to the best moments of your life. Back then you didn’t realise it would be the best, but when you look back, you knew you could’ve held onto those little minutes a little tighter, a little more dear. It’s so fond, the way you would think how you didn’t know you were happy, but you were. There’s no regret in those photographs in your mind, only gentle waves crashing against the shore and going back out to sea again. Serene, gone but at peace.
It tugs at your chest, a rope instead of forming a noose at your neck, it ties itself around your middle instead. It doesn’t kill you off, not even slowly, but it serves as a constant reminder of how you will always carry your pain with you. It forces you to think about how yin and yang came to be. With the bad, there is always a good. You think about all the times you thought there were only grey skies, rainy days. But there is always a silver lining.
Reminiscence, thinking back to all the times you’ve had your highest highs and lowest lows. And yet, here you are. All the good times, road trips, sunsets and gold. All the bad times, crying in the shower at 4AM and rolled up papers.
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Deadline: 31 March 2021