The Role of Size in The Bedroom

Writer’s Note:

This article contains sexually explicit language.

I would also like to note that the basis of this article is mostly geared towards heterosexual sex.

This article is NOT intended to promote heteronormativity. It is solely due to the vast availability of sources found on the interrelations of “size” and “sex”. The inclusion of MSM and WSW is mentioned towards the end of the article. 

No personal experiences or opinions are reflected as this article is an objective piece on the matter.


Amid millennials’ hookup culture and dating scene, the preconceived idea that size matters is in the limelight.

In all honesty, we live in a big dick fetishist world where the porn industry has set unrealistic expectations about size. These standards are so embedded in society that they made their way to meme culture.

From all the micro-penis jokes and ‘big dick energy’ being an overused compliment, it seems like size does matter. At least for many. 

“I heard from a friend of a friend 

 That dick was a 10/10!” 

See, even Doja Cat needs to know. 

Need To Know Doja Cat GIF - Need To Know Doja Cat - Discover & Share GIFs

“Does size matter?” is more of a surface-level question of “Does size matter to get you in the right mood for sex?”. Even more directly, “Which size would make you wet on sight?”.

This basically implies that women can have a size preference. And it isn’t necessarily always ‘huge’.

In fact, many women may initially find the sight of a large meat attractive. But their reaction right after is often, Ouch! 

“It’s not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean”

To put things into perspective, if this saying is intended for the big ones, it suggests that “the person must do more than just simply lie down and expect their large dick to be adequate for pleasurable sex.” The remark is addressing a person’s selfish behaviour rather than the quality of the penis.

If it is intended for small ones, it implies “as long as the person is creative enough in other methods of pleasure, it’s alright.” This directly implicates a person’s penis is technically insufficient for quality sex.

So to answer the main question, Does it matter?

Maybe it does, or it doesn’t. It’s subjective.

But another question is why does size tend to get equated with quality sex? Are the long nights of hookin’ just limited to penetratin’? 

Top 20 Hookin GIFs | Find the best GIF on Gfycat

Getting to the nitty-gritty, the male asset down there isn’t always in the driver’s seat. 

That’s where foreplay comes into play.

Welcome to the Land of Foreplay

Image via Maisie Cousin

First of all, foreplay is a part of pre-intercourse. There’s actually some sort of scientific backing up its importance. It takes four hours to fully open up a woman’s body to pleasure.

Well, obviously that doesn’t mean it should be a four-hour cardio routine. But even half an hour does the job. Just like how a hibiscus flower blooms, the women’s sex centre expands (erotically named ‘engorgement’).

Similarly to how a man has to become erect before he dives right in, foreplay can help the vagina stretch to make it more comfortable during intercourse.

In addition to that, it enhances the overall sexual experience. A recent study found that many women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Let’s be real, faking orgasms is not fun for both parties. 

But even foreplay alone is enticing within itself. In the unwritten cultural script of sex, foreplay is known for just getting “ready enough” for intercourse. It is fair to say that it tends to get rushed and even skipped at times.

Foreplay is an intimate experience; it is a form of giving, tuning in with the mind and body. It is where size doesn’t matter, but only attitude and agility matter.   

Heck, this sounds even spicier than the ‘main event’!

Foreplay plays a role in any sexual encounter. Foreplay is essentially the basis of lesbian sex. And it is even convenient for gay sex since getting right to business could inflict a lot of pain for the other person.

In a nutshell, foreplay is inclusive!

The Verdict

Size can matter, especially during intercourse. But one’s insecurity of their manhood can take a backbench and instead explore the abysmal zones foreplay has to offer. “Outercourse” is where size truly does not matter. 

Article by Layan (Lay) Alkaf

References:

Header from Tony Futura on behance

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