8 Places to Hit a Homerun in Monash ;)

PLEASE DO NOTE THIS ARTICLE IS FOR FUN AND IS MEANT AS A JOKE. WE DO NOT CONDONE PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION ANYWHERE IN THIS COUNTRY!

Ever need to destress when you’re in uni and you feel like doing something.. risky and adventurous? Something that makes your heart start beating faster and gets your adrenaline pumping through your veins? Here are a few places to have fun with ratings on the riskiness based on pretty much no factual evidence at all.

BTW, the name of the place will not be mentioned for safety and future purposes ;)

  1. Risk Level: 1/5 | Highest Target: Homerun

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Located probably at the higher levels of certain building(s), where it’s quieter compared to the lower floors (hint hint). These toilets are way cleaner, nicer smelling and quieter. As usual, the toilets are separated with cubicles, which you can pretty much do your thing.

  1. Risk level: 5/5 | Highest Target: Third base

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We are not specifying the spots where you can do it, but according to witnesses (based on a true story), this is one of them. However, with a few sweaters, a bag, or something wide to cover yourself, you can achieve your target with some effort. Of course, timing is important. And please, it’s the library, keep your voices down ;)

  1. Risk level: 2/5 | Highest Target: Homerun

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Dodgy, sketchy, and risky. But if you’re into adventure, why not? There are a few corners which are more hidden than this open area. Do take note that the guards do patrol around this area, so depending on your luck and timing, you can achieve greatness with that somebody.

  1. Risk level: 3/5 | Highest Target: Homerun

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If you are able to get the key to this room, with the right timing and/or the right crowd, the room is yours. If you are able to get the key to begin with. Meanwhile, beware of the crowd because sounds from inside the room can be heard from outside.

  1. Risk level: 3/5 | Highest Target: Homerun

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This place shall not be revealed, so do take some time to find out where this place is. Even though it’s somewhere public with big crowds at certain times, anything is possible. If you know this spot, please lock the door. Just in case.

  1. Risk level: 2/5 | Highest Target: Third base or higher

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Are you into empty offices (pretend James Bond anyone?) but with no tables or sofas or even chairs? Try finding this area somewhere at the near end of daylight. But please take care of your “belongings” from the dirt and dust.

  1. Risk level: 4/5 | Highest Target: Third base and above

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Engineering students will know where this is. The guards patrol this area consistently, so you could possibly time the movement of the guards to find the optimum time to get things done. While doing it, you can occasionally enjoy the cool breeze and hopefully the mosquitoes don’t interrupt the moment. Sounds are probably not much of an issue here since it’s an open area, but still, be careful to not be caught in action.

  1. Risk level: 5/5 | Highest Target: Third base or higher

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Craving for some real adventure? Come to this place to destress if you have a car. Be careful not to get caught. Please use things such as a sunshade to cover up obvious places to prevent yourself (and your partner in crime) from getting exposed on social media platforms. Flexibility is probably one of the greatest requirement in order to achieve anything higher than specified above.

Overall, the purpose of this article is solely for your information FUN and it’s not a challenge. If you already found your perfect spot to destress, and it’s not listed, leave a comment. Or if you have more suggestions of places, leave a comment too.

Most importantly, whatever you do, safety first.

PLEASE DO NOTE THIS ARTICLE IS FOR FUN AND IS MEANT AS A JOKE. WE DO NOT CONDONE PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION ANYWHERE IN THIS COUNTRY!

Article by Anonymous

 

musaeditor

Editorial board of Monash University Student Association

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