MILLENNIALS ARE KILLING… EVERYTHING

It’s true, we’ve read article after article about how millennials are to blame for pretty much all of the unpopular trends going on in the world today. This generation, arguably the most hated one of all, just can’t seem to do anything right. Don’t believe me? Just ask Business Insider, Forbes, The New York Post, The Wall Street Journal…really, the list goes on. Strangely enough, most of the articles have a common theme: they fault millennials for hurting certain industries because they aren’t willing or able to purchase these industry’s products and services. So, obviously, media outlets and/or certain <people> have a problem with this generation’s thriftiness? To be honest, I’m not exactly sure. But, let’s take a look at some of the more hilarious-I mean serious- accusations against millennials.

1) MiLlEnNiAls ArE KiLLinG ThE DiAmOnD InDuStry

diamond.jpg
Um. ???????????????????

DIAMONDS? Honey, I promise you, we love our sparkly things as much as the next guy, but to be honest, we can’t afford anything. In a brilliant article by the Economist, arguments are directed solely at millennials’ refusal to spend copious amounts of money on something as essential as diamonds. In response to this, millennials were quick to mock the unfortunate media company on their favourite platform: social media. Jokes, memes and insults popped up on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr; the Economist had never felt so popular. In fact, if I didn’t know any better, this almost seemed like a publicity stunt instead of journalism, because all the article seemed to do was insult people enough to share it with their hundreds of followers. In true capitalist style, other news outlets were quick to jump on the ‘hating millennials’ bandwagon, which brought us this other gem:

2) MuRDerInG ThE MoviE InDuStRY

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Empty cinemas becoming the norm?

The New York Post tells us about the problem Hollywood now has with millennials: they’re not going to the movies enough. Well, damn the youth of today for refusing to pay for overpriced tickets to watch a slew of unimpressive movies! According to the infamous article, the largest drop in moviegoers were aged 18-24, with numbers decreasing by more than a third over a period of  three years. Dubbed the “millennial problem”, high-level associates were at a loss and trying hard to come up with ideas for kids to spend money on movies again. One bright idea included allowing youngsters to keep texting as they watch movies. Unfortunately, the idiocy of that particular solution only dawned once the public had their say. Honestly, I’m starting to think that these industry executives are as disconnected from their target audiences as they are from reality.

3) AlSo FaBrIC SofTeNeR

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WHAT?

I’m sorry, but do people actually even need fabric softener? Also, what is it, because I’ve never used it in my life. Anyway, as any self-respecting, entitled millennial would, I Googled it. And it does exactly what its name suggests: it softens clothes, BUT it also prevents the build-up of static electricity in certain fabrics. Well, thank God for that, otherwise imagine how embarrassing it would be if I walked out of the house and I had stray hairs stuck to my clothes? THE SHAME. The Wall Street Journal obviously believes in the importance of this non-essential laundry chemical, and they try to get millennials to realise it too. Millennials, however, weren’t buying it. Again, defiant Twitter users spoke out against the article’s many biased points, and people on Tumblr even went so far as to share DIY hacks which would completely eliminate the need to purchase laundry products.

Clearly, millennials have issues. These are just the tip of the iceberg though, as millennials seem to be the cause of hundreds of trends that threaten society. Thankfully, we have these media companies who are absolutely willing to point out all these flaws, at the expense of their dignity. They all seem confounded by the reason for changing consumer tendencies in this particular generation. I’m not sure if I can help, but let me try: Millennials are not going to spend money on things that aren’t necessary according to their opinions, because they’re all broke. How do they not get it yet?

Article by Natasha Fernandez

Photos by Star 941 AtlantaSingapore Business Times8Backgrounds & Amazon

musaeditor

Editorial board of Monash University Student Association

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