Perceiving the concept of an orientation the same way I perceive finding random talking points and verbalising ideas solely for the purpose of attempting to halt the inevitable awkwardness between a stranger– who is likely trying to do the exact same thing– and an excessively anxious individual without their daily dose of sertraline. 

You encounter a tour guide trying to bridge the awkward and very silent gap between students while trying not to pass out from exhaustion due to the repetitive walking and talking and the championing of a facade of naive enthusiasm. They morph into a quasi-Monash ambassador when in reality they probably do not care as much and are just there for free vouchers and perhaps an early vibe check of new incoming students. 

A very long and exhaustive line of students is perhaps not the greatest first introduction to Monash but everyone somehow stayed instead of hopping back onto the BRT on route to the dorms or Sunway Pyramid. The lines for the campus tour were certainly long. Students were essentially just standing around until it was their turn to participate in the tours. We travelled to many spots, all from the finance building to the hive, effectively indoctrinating everyone on the best study spots on campus for both rigorous cramming sessions and the loosely interpreted study sessions masked as social hangouts with merely a pretense of studying. Unfortunately, the smoking spot was not covered in the tour but note that it is at the bus stop near the main entrance. You will have a cigarette even if Monash tries to stop you. 

The campus tour was scheduled to be the first event in the orientation, which meant that right after the tours were done, students were directed to the auditoriums for a briefing session with their student representatives. 

Genes were passed down from offsprings and the block party subculture thrusted itself into the Monash campus space. Students seem to enjoy mini concerts and these events operate as a dipping pool to club culture and experiencing music live as they traditionally intended to be. We didn’t have a grey goose and a man named Jose Cuervo did not attend and soju did not bomb the place with sapporo, yet we sat on our mats and basked in the sunlight with AVA playing their original Ribs. Monash certainly loves to reheat nachos, especially when it comes to past events and repurposing them into a seemingly brand new nacho but it works and the students seem to enjoy these nachos. 

Going to classes alone is actually pretty mortifying but go up to the person sitting next to you and ask them if they ever had a Krispy Kreme. Welcome to Monash! 

Written by Yashven Jayabalan

Photos by Iliana and Thong Chen