Editor’s note: While some pills are hard to swallow, some conversations are harder to have. As a trigger warning, this piece contains mature themes that aren’t usually explored on MONGA. However, it is a raw exposition and insight into a person’s struggle with familial, sexual, and mental relationships. We at MONGA not only encourage you to have conversations about your personal struggles, but to also reach out to professionals who will listen and guide you through the process of self-help. Our counsellors can be reached through this link.

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Mom knew that when you were tired in the morning, it was because you’d spent all night on the phone with a boy.

Mom knew that when your door was locked last night, you masturbated.

Mom knew that girls your age shouldn’t be a slut like you.

Mom knew that you were sleeping with all the boys you hung out with.

Mom knew that you tried to seduce every boy you met.

Mom knew that you were with a boy when you said you were late in school studying.

Mom knew that you lost interest in playing the piano because of boys.

Mom knew that you were nothing better than a hooker and didn’t forget to tell you.

Mom knew that she had to stop you from being the slut you apparently were.

Mom knew that she sacrificed a lot for you.

Mom knew that she would give you a better life following her divorce to your dad.

Mom knew that deprivation of your dad would make you love her more.

Mom knew that she had to make everyone pay for what they had done to her.

Mom knew that you were going to be a failure because you didn’t like blindly following her lucrative orders.

Mom knew that you didn’t care about her when you told her she should tell her marital problems to a qualified therapist instead of the 13-year-old you.

Mom knew that the only way to stop you was to lock you up.

Mom knew that she had to punish you.

Mom knew that she had to control you.

Mom knew you were already out of control.

Mom knew.. nothing.

Mom didn’t know that you were struggling with recurring depression after your first diagnosis by the psychiatrist.

Mom didn’t know that you were being bullied at school because you didn’t get to know your dad.

Mom didn’t know that you were hanging out with boys because all the girls were mean to you for being different.

Mom didn’t know that you were tired in the mornings because you couldn’t sleep all night.

Mom didn’t know that you had low self-esteem because of what she said over the years.

Mom didn’t know that you were forcefully kissed because he knew you had that low self-esteem.

Mom didn’t know that you spent your nights crying.

Mom didn’t know that you were suicidal.

Mom didn’t know that you hallucinated at night.

Mom didn’t know that you had no control over your emotions and thoughts.

Mom didn’t know that you didn’t know how to solve her crippling second marriage.

Mom didn’t know that you were suffering because of her actions.

Mom didn’t know that she was suffocating you.

Mom didn’t know that you had attempted suicide at 9 years old.

Mom didn’t know that the bullies never stopped.

Mom didn’t know that you were in a situation where you could control nothing.

Mom didn’t know that you were curious about your dad.

Mom didn’t know that she caused your detriment.

Mom didn’t know that she was to blame.

Mom didn’t know that she needed help even when you told her.

 

Mom, please stop pretending that you know best. You don’t.

 

Article by Anonymous