Midnight Memoirs: Wonder

We can sail away tonight

On a sea of pure moonlight

We can navigate the stars 

To bring us back home 

In a place so far away

We’ll be young, that’s how we’ll stay

                                                                             -Neverland, Finding Neverland-Broadway recording, 2015

To all the outcasts, the dreamers, the journeymen, and the wanderers. We are all searching the night and the dark for our hidden stars. I believe we are all lost in some way. Experienced loss and rage, anxieties and stress. We are all searching for meaning right? Something to hold on to, something to count on. What is the point of all the mess we make if not for that? 

Everything you are doing right now is an endless expanse of mindless possibility. We are all rolling the dice, floating specks in the void of nothing, which is meaningless. So why? Why do we do what we do? What is the point? Why am I here, why now? 

On earth, we are briefly gorgeous. Briefly lost and briefly found, then briefly lost again. We might never know why we exist and be always left to wonder. But regardless we are still the first draft of ourselves. Ever present, filled with mistakes and spelling errors and that’s okay. When life itself is random and chaotic why be perfect? For the seconds in the infinity that are given to you, find your reason and meaning. Make time remember your answer to the chaos that you are given.   

So, make mistakes. Knowing your struggle and giving it a place to rest within can help you learn to be whole. We all seek to be understood before we understand. Just like an empty bucket that has a hole in it, no matter how much water you try to put in, it will always seep out. Being accepting of yourself can only be done by you alone otherwise no matter how much acceptance someone tries to give you, it will never be validating enough.   

I think the greatest thing we can have, is to see ourselves when we look at others. To be compassionate, to empathize, to be kind. Not for the sake of others or because we might gain a semblance of something out of it. Because the world around you can be unyielding and brutal. As a Holocaust survivor, Victor E Frankel says, “Forces beyond your control can take away everything except one thing, your freedom to choose”. So, choose to be kind. To feel for one another, if you don’t, don’t expect anyone else to either. 

To all those who are hurting and or in pain, nothing we do can ever change the outcome of how we feel. The only thing we can do is how give it meaning. Have heart, and believe that when you reach out in this vast space of nothingness someone might choose to reflect and be kind in return. We are all on this journey of failure, redemption, identity, and above all else the need to connect: to be loved and to love.  

Finally give space to the red chilies, the waterfalls, the quiet midnight noise of 3 am, the crumbling paper, and the golden hours of life. They always seem important like the things you never want to forget. We might be living in the humanity of those moments since we never know our finality. Even with all the static of chaos, we are still here solid and real. So, to all the wanderers don’t forget to take your dust, and run across the stars all the way back to Neverland.   

Artwork & Article by Januli

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